I get sent to another world by a Goddess with padded breasts
by creepymccreeps032
Summary: it's a shame the title couldn't be longer, or this could've been a real crappy LN.


**In another world with my... ah, screw this, titles are trash.**

"Ara ara, Naofumi-sa-!"

"SHUT UP, MALTY!" I yelled out in frustration at my innocent laptop, snapping it shut. With another season came another stupid isekai that went from being decent to dropping back down the ladder of mediocrity. Why did I even bother? It wasn't like we were gonna get anything good out of anime anymore anyway.

Call me a fragment of the past. Call me whatever you want. But an instant classic was a rare occurrence nowadays. Sure, we get the occasional seasonal masterpiece, like Kaguya-Sama or Sewayaki Kitsune, but they died out quickly, not gaining the fame they deserved. We just didn't get artworks like Lucky Star, or Nichijou, or my personal favourite. K-On!, the anime that got me in love with the magnificent genre of moe, was now a relic of the past after the manga and one-shots concluded. The movie was a treat to tantalised soul, but there are only so many times you can rewatch it. I was a 16-year old NEET. A hikikomori who skipped school. A fucking weeb. My only friends were other supposed NEETs on Discord, people I had never met before and were only there for me when their status was 'Online'. There were no exceptions to that; they would rather be idle than speak to me. No one would want to speak to me anyway; my social skills were comparable to a soft-shelled turtle. But at least soft-shelled turtles were cute. I was ridden with acne, had an awkward goatee and braces, pretty much the role model for a highschool kid puberty wasn't finished with. Not everyone was mean to me though; there were those who brought me happiness. Those were my waifus, obviously.

Ah, waifu. What a pleasant term. A pleasant term to describe infinitely more pleasant beings. My waifus were the only attempt at love I ever made. I wasn't interested in the fickle, callous, unpredictable, imperfect beings that were real girls. I couldn't dream of ever being with one. With the third dimension they brought in malice in threefold. My waifus were much easier to deal with.

But it was futile dreaming about this right now. I got off my bed, put on my cat ears and left my tiny apartment to buy some pocky. But my mind was still clouded with thoughts about how trash the isekai genre had become. And that. That became my undoing.

_CRASH!_

I didn't even get time to comprehend what had just happened before my consciousness whisked away from the dirty 3-D street and was transported to an unknown location.

By the time I was back in my senses, I was standing before an incredibly beautiful lady. Her silky white hair, kind eyes and heavenly smile beamed down at me. She looked almost like a goddess. Of course, I recognised her instantly. It was Eris, Aqua's underling. An actual, literal goddess.

But wait... That must mean...

"Am I... dead?", I asked the goddess.

"Don't worry, rest easy. You're going to be fine. You got ran over by a drunk truck driver before it was your time."

A truck driver? Wait, so Truck-kun killed me?

Am I...

"Is this one of this shitty isekai OC fanfics?" I screamed at Eris.

"Shhhh, calm down. We don't want to break the 4th wa-!"

"Don't shhh me, you fucking thot! I know you're wearing breast pads! Aqua's a better waifu than you!"

I don't know what made me do it. My primitive weeb instincts got fired up, and I ended up acting mean in front of my arbiter goddess.

"P-pads? What are you talking about?"

"Don't fuck with me, I've read and watched all of Konosuba! I have every piece of merch imaginable!"

"Please calm down, Arnold!"

"My name is not Arnold. I go by Arnie, the 69th Master of Noobs."

"Whatever, you're going to get resurrected in your own world soon. I'm just trying to give you a treat!"

"Treat?"

"What's your favourite anime?"

"It's K-On!" I replied, without a second thought.

"And your, ahem, best girl?"

"All Keions are equal, but one is more equal than others. I'm not telling you whom though."

"You don't have to, I already know?"

"Then why'd you ask me, you dumb bitch?"

"W-why are you so mean to me?"

"Cuz you have padded breasts?"

"I don't-! Whatever, just have fun."

With that, she cast her incantation and transported me away. I had become the very thing I had sworn to destroy: a shitty isekai protagonist. That made me very depressed, but at least I'll be OP now. And I will NOT be a dumbass like Subaru. Ok? Never.

I closed my eyes and waited for the swirling sensation around me to stop. When I opened them, I was greeted with a pleasant surprise. Too pleasant. Way too pleasant. What the fuck is going on?

Azusa Nakano, the Kouhai of HTT, wearing no armour or magic robes, just regular high-school girl clothing, sleeping on a bed. My heart skipped multiple beats, but I couldn't die because I was already dead. It was my true love. I was so serious about this, I even selected her as top waifu on MyWaifuList. A very easy S-Tier, a great blend of cuteness, furryness and mild tsundere. She was the ideal female, and real world girls couldn't hold a candle to her perfection.

I looked around me, and saw a very familiar sight. It was my bedroom. Why was I in my bedroom?

More importantly...

I was in my bedroom, alone, w-w-with...

Azusa-Chan?!

"Eris, you thot, what have you done?!"I screamed at the sky without thinking.

My screaming woke up the sleeping angel.

"W-where am I? Who are you?!", Azusa-chan screamed, clearly distressed.

Okay, okay, play it cool Arnie, The 69th Master of Noobs. You can handle this. You can handle...

"Have you kidnapped me?", Azusa shrieked, lurching away from me.

"No! No, no, no, no, no please do not worry you will be fine I can explain myself this isn't my fault oh my god I am so sorry you have to go through this oh god oh fuck..."

I broke down in tears and curled into a ball. Great show of manliness, Arnie!

"A-are you ok, sir?"

"Please don't call me sir!" I choked out in between sobs.

"Please don't cry, it's alright. Tell me what happened." Azusa said, sitting down next to me, her back against my cupboard.

My cupboard?

_All my hentai is in there._

My primitive instincts fired up again, and I grabbed Azusa-Chan by the shoulders, pulling her away from the cupboard and _pinning her against my bed._

_How do I get myself into these situations?!_

"Y-you perv! Let go of me!", Azusa screamed.

"Azunyan, attack!" A voice from under my bed yelled.

"Did you just call me Azunyan?", Azusa –Chan asked, still terrified.

"No, I don't know where that came from." I replied honestly.

I got off her, and she immediately shirked away from me. A muscle in my heart twisted, like it had just been impaled. Then she checked under my bed, and my hazukashii overpowered my rationality. I was also out of stamina after Azusa-Chan shirked away from me. I sank to the floor.

Azusa-Chan found my stack of K-On! Merch. I kept it under my bed so I could dream of it at night. It was a press-to-speak Yui soft-toy that said a random phrase when pressure was applied to it.

She also found all the posters and action figures I had of the band, and the slight surplus I had of her. Nothing lewd, obviously. I had previously been arrested for smacking a person who lewded K-On over the head with a Louisville Slugger.

A familiar blush spread across her face. Ah, KyoAni's blushes. Too fucking perfect.

"Are you... a fan of Houkago Tea Time?" She asked, a little less awkward.

"Y-yeah! I'm a huge fan! I know the lyrics to all your songs by heart!"

"Then are you one of those creepy stalker fans who kidnap their favourite stars?"

"N-No I'm not!"

"Or one of those lewd types who want to watch me and do lewd things?!"

"I would never lewd you!"

"Then why am I here?"She asked in a confused tone, her eyes tearing up.

Without thinking, I got up. And hugged her.

_Bakabakabakabakabakabakabakabaka! Too soon, you idiot, she doesn't even know your name!_

Just as I was on the verge of grabbing my Ryuko Matoi themed compass and stabbing myself with it, Azusa-Chan sank into me instead of shirking away. She sank right into me!

_That's right! Azusa is weak to physical contact!_

"It'll be fine, it'll be fine."I said in the most soothing tone I could. All those hours of Catgirl ASMR had taught me a thing or two. She sank into me even further, falling to her knees. I fell to my knees as well, out of moegasm.

"Azusa-Chan?"

"Yes?"

"Close your ears."

"Nyan."

The nyan gave me another moegasm, and Azusa covered her ears like I asked her to.

Then I cursed my throat out at the sky. At Eris. At Eris' superiors. I asked them for a way to send us both back, because I couldn't stand to see Azusa-Chan like this.

A piece of paper fluttered down from the sky.

_Get an autograph from her and perform an HTT song. Then we'll let you go. Jeez, enjoy yourself a little more._

I couldn't enjoy myself. Not when Azusa-chan wanted to go home.

"Azusa-Chan. According to this piece of paper, you must autograph a copy of any HTT song, and perform one of them with me."

"B-but Houkago Tea Time is Houkago Tea Time! How can you be the one to perform a HTT song?"

"That won't be a problem."

My body started to change rapidly. I grew shorter, my hair grew longer and became brown, a hairpin mysteriously appeared on my hair, and I became a lot thiccer than I was initially. Above all, my voice changed to resemble another S-Tier waifu. My very own S-Tier waifu, a part of my top 10.

"Azunyan, let's go!"I, who was now Yui, yelled out.

_NO!_

I awakened from a coma. An extremely pleasant coma.

Around me were doctors and nurses, but not a single friend. Not a single person who was close to me. Except my waifus, who were still in my head and would remain in my head forever. I cursed the futility of it all and tried to drift off to sleep again, and convene with my waifus.

But I couldn't sleep, because I had to conduct the menial human task of paying a hospital fees.

_Ah shit, here we go again._


End file.
